Parenting in today’s digital world can feel like an impossible task. Parents are often seen as the first line of defence against bullying and online harm. They are expected to monitor, educate, and protect their children both offline and online. And when something goes wrong, parents can sometimes be the first to be blamed.
This article explores how the growing pressure on parents to “get it right” online can sometimes hide the wider social, political, and technological responsibilities we all share in tackling (cyber)bullying.
The Pressures of Modern Parenting
Parenting has become increasingly demanding and emotionally intense. Many parents feel they must be constantly involved, attentive, and informed, a form of “intensive parenting” that can be exhausting.
While it may sound positive, this mindset is also shaped by a society that values competition, self-reliance, and achievement. These expectations can leave parents feeling constantly under pressure and emotionally drained, especially when they lack the time, money, or resources to meet these ideals.
A Focus on Parenting
Research often links children’s involvement in bullying, as targets or perpetrators, to their parents’ styles or behaviours. Although parenting matters, focusing too narrowly on parents can hide the bigger picture – many factors influencing bullying and online behaviour are beyond their control.
Not all families have the same opportunities or resources. “Good parenting” is often defined through particular norms and values. This can lead to unfair judgments about families from different social, cultural, or ethnic backgrounds.
Parents, Schools and Shared Responsibility
When bullying or cyberbullying occurs, parents are often asked to engage with schools. However, these relationships can be complicated.
Recent research found that parents sometimes felt blamed or unheard by schools when their children were bullied. Changes in school policy also created a sense of mutual surveillance where both sides felt watched and judged.
Both families and educators need support and clear frameworks to prevent bullying and respond effectively when it happens.
Parenting in the Digital Age
Today, parents must guide their children through an ever-changing online world. They’re expected to protect them from cyberbullying, misinformation, and online harassment while also teaching digital literacy, empathy, and independence.
Advice for parents can often feel contradictory. Some experts recommend monitoring apps and strict rules, while others encourage freedom and trust. Balancing safety with autonomy can be confusing and stressful.
Being “always on” might look like good parenting, but it can lead to burnout.
Moving Beyond Blame
To effectively prevent and respond to (cyber)bullying, we need to look beyond blaming parents. Parenting does not happen in a vacuum, it takes place within social systems that can either support or constrain families.
Governments, schools, and technology companies also have vital roles to play in creating safer, fairer digital spaces for young people. Supporting parents means ensuring they are not left to carry the weight alone.
Key Takeaways for Parents
- You are not alone: Cyberbullying prevention is a shared effort between parents, schools, policymakers, and tech platforms.
- Stay connected: Maintain open, non-judgmental conversations with your child about their online experiences.
- Model balance: Show healthy digital habits rather than trying to monitor every move.
- Seek support: Reach out to schools or trusted organisations like TackleBullying.ie for guidance.
- Advocate for change: Encourage community discussions about digital safety and collective responsibility.
Disclaimer – This piece is an adapted and shortened version of an article originally published as part of the MSCA PARTICIPATE project, a doctoral research and training network focused on cyberbullying and parenting. The original publication provides a more detailed academic discussion and includes full references and research links. It can be accessed here.
